


Buy the rumour and sell the fact

by ColourVegan



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Non-Massacre AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColourVegan/pseuds/ColourVegan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Non-massacre AU. Fugaku used to like listening to rumours until his oldest son became the subject of one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buy the rumour and sell the fact

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote this back in 2009 it was intended to be an instalment in a much longer story, or a side story of a Non-massacre Ita/Saku AU series. Half a decade later it's quite obvious that's not going to happen.

Uchiha Fugaku had always liked gossip – not to gossip, but to listen to it – it always made him feel superior when some evil tongue disclosed how some other clan’s heir had misbehaved; his clan may be the village pariahs, but at least they didn’t produce scandal upon scandal.

One of his favourites scandals, mainly because he was among those present when the actual event occurred, happened a few years ago during a New Years celebration – an extremely intoxicated Inuzuka Hana had flashed her breasts and propositioned a barely eighteen year old Hyuuga Neji who had been so mortified he made an indignant squeaking sound – pride of the honourable Hyuuga Clan squeaking like a bath toy.

The Inuzuka Heir was a master of disgraceful actions – she must take after her mother – every other week he could hear the whispers of something the kunoichi had done; the Akimichi Heir was not as outrageous, but his many fights over food and severe obesity should have been a reason for shame for his clan – had his clan been normal; not to speak of the lazy Nara Clan Heir and his affair with that Suna kunoichi.

There were a number of rumours about other clan members too – the younger Inuzuka was just as excellent as his sister at making scenes, a few of the reclusive Aburame Clan were often featured in gossip, the younger Sarutobi son’s not-so clandestine affair with some no-name Jounin kunoichi was a favourite topic among older women, a few whispers about mental instability among members of the Kurama Clan, and of course the outrageous behaviour of the oldest daughter of the former Yamanaka Clan.

The Uchiha Clan weren’t free from being featured in rumours – his own nephew Shisui featured every other month with some new escapade and his son Sasuke sometimes made it on account of his boisterous best friend, but it was never too serious – and Itachi never did anything that could be gossip about.

He had liked to overhear gossip – until today.

.

Fugaku spit out his coffee all over his desk – the dark liquid mixed with saliva made an exotic splatter pattern on the various scrolls and papers spread across the table top – the head of the Konoha Military Police Force glared at his narrowly opened office door hoping to catch sight of the two officers who had just walked by.

“--tachi wouldn’t sleep with that girl let alone marry h--” was all he heard as the officers passed the door, but it was enough to make his mind go blank before acceleration to overdrive.

A number of possible scenarios played out in his mind – one for every possible “that girl” and what type of implications that would have for the Uchiha Clan. It was most likely the outrageous Inuzuka heir or the Yamanaka girl, but a number of other clan and non-clan kunoichi made cameos in his salvage plotting – Shisui’s team member, Sasuke’s former-teammate, was dismissed without further ado since the Haruno Clan were one of the few sensible ninja clans in Konoha that hardly ever made it into gossip.

No, it was without doubt something the Inuzuka heir had done – in Fugaku’s mind that one wasn’t above drugging and brainwashing to get what she wanted – if that which she wanted was Itachi he would be damned if she succeeded in dragging the Uchiha Clan down into the dirt with the Inuzukas.

Something had to be done and quickly – finding Itachi, getting the truth out of the peaceful but tight-lipped ANBU, and saving the situation as best could.

The Uchiha Clan Head ignored the coffee mess he’d made of his desk and was out of the building before anyone could say the word “gossip”.

“--can’t be true,” a pale, bloodless girl – white hair and impossibly light blue eyes identifying her as an Haruno, hadn’t the crimson uniform with the white circle on it done so already – said firmly; “Haruno-sama would never allow her to marry an outsider – not even an Uchiha!”

Fugaku stopped in his tracks, not certain if he liked or disliked the statement – it warmed to know that his grandfather hadn’t been wrong when he told a younger Fugaku that the honourable Haruno Clan was among the few who didn’t despise Uchihas – he however didn’t like the new turn his investigation was taking.

Coincidences happen every day, he had learnt to believe in coincidences, but he had also lived long enough not to trust coincidence and the fact that his otherwise non-gossip featured oldest son and some seldom gossip about Haruno were spoken of in similar rumours, at the same time, didn’t bode well.

So, Itachi and an Haruno – he didn’t know many Harunos – the only kunoichi from that particular clan he’d ever seen around his son was Shisui’s teammate Sakura, who with her unusual hair and eyes often didn’t register in his mind as one; the Harunos were reclusive on the border of being mysterious – everyone knew about their connection to the Konoha Public Library and the rumours about their private library being even more impressive, but no one really knew anything about them or their abilities.

Sakura was an ANBU, one of Konoha’s top medics and former apprentice to the Godaime Hokage – if there was anyone that the Haruno Clan Head wouldn’t allow marrying outside the clan it would probably be her – or the Clan Heir who was swiftly removed from the equation for being male.

No, now he knew who the gossiping was about, he only needed to hear the truth from the horses’ mouths, so to speak – he needed to find his son and the Haruno kunoichi.

.

Tracking down two wayward ANBU were harder than he first thought – tracking down their friends to ask directions were out of the question – he should know his own son well enough to find him without assistance thankyouverymuch.

Unfortunately he only knew of a few places were he had seen the two together previously; there was a small tea stand in Oak street where Shisui usually dragged his two closets friends when none of them were away on missions, an okonomiyaki eatery on Ash street where he’d seen the trio have lunch once or twice together with Sasuke and a complaining Naruto, and he might have seen his eldest son and Sakura buy mochi ice cream from a cart around Cedar street a few months ago, but he wasn’t all too certain about the latter.

The two turned out to be more elusive than he had first envisioned – training grounds (empty save for the insane Green Beasts), library (empty save for Sasuke’s teammate Sai), hospital (not so empty, but void of Uchiha Heir and pink haired Harunos), ANBU headquarters (probably empty, judging by Morino’s single syllable answer), clan compounds (empty as far as he dared enquire), Hokage tower (mostly empty save for a snoring Hokage, uptight assistant and a few ANBU guards) – the pair was nowhere to be found and that was, to borrow his youngest son’s old classmate’s catchphrase, troublesome.

.

Tired, annoyed and with a grumbling stomach Fugaku slipped into the homey little tea shop on Maple street – the lightening was kind to his tired eyes, the cushions weren’t too soft or too hard, the tea was soothing on his tense nerves and the wagashi was, although not filling, something nice to chew on while sorting out a new salvage plan now that the first one seemed to have failed miserably.

If his son and the Haruno kunoichi had just so non-discreetly fooled around there would be dire consequences; Clan Heirs carry the reputation of all their clan on their shoulders – unbecoming conduct would reflect very badly on the Uchiha; the Harunos would most likely take the whole thing as a grave insult and although they were a small and reclusive clan they were very well respected and their voices carried a lot of weight when they chose to speak.

If his son and the Haruno kunoichi hadn’t just so non-discreetly fooled around and the marriage comments were true the consequences wouldn’t be as dire – true their respective Clan Councils would most likely have liked to see them marry within their clans, but the damage wouldn’t be as serious; the Harunos of course weren’t known for ever marrying outside their clan and he had only heard rumours of one non-Haruno being married into the clan during the last century, but the insult wouldn’t be as great as if they hadn’t married – or so he hoped.

Fugaku was so tired after having run around investigating this latest rumour that he didn’t even register Konoha’s number one most gossiped about kunoichi entering the tea shop closely followed by the most gossiped about Uchiha; Inuzuka Hana arched an eyebrow towards the uncommonly unaware Uchiha Clan Head and received a shrug in answer from Shisui as the pair were shown to a low table.

“--’s probably not heard of Kura-chan and Ita-kun’s elopement yet,” the older Uchiha thought he heard from across the room, “he’d probably run around screaming blue murder if he had.”

“Then he must have hid out here most of the day,” the conversation went on, “Sakura’s old teammates are loudly proclaiming Itachi’s premature death at their hands when they get their hands on him.”

“My dear little cousin is delusional is he thinks he, Naruto, Sai and Kakashi together can even get a hit in on Tachi,” the man he by now had identified as his nephew replied amused, “they’ll just have to give up and accept it.”

“I didn’t know they were even together in the first place,” the Inuzuka Heir leaned forward and looked almost dumbfounded at the younger Uchiha, “but it wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing, right? Taichou never does anything he hasn’t carefully planned out beforehand – he probably led us close to that temple on purpose.”

Fugaku blinked, so it was true then? He hadn’t considered eavesdropping on Itachi and Sakura’s friends to find out the truth behind the rumour, but now he saw the merit behind the practice.

“You give Tachi too much credit,” Shisui laughed, “I mean, he has been plotting how to marry Kura-chan for a long time without our or their Clan Councils interfering, but I don’t think yesterday was really planned.”

“How long has he been plotting?” Hana asked with a low curious voice the older Uchiha had to strain his ears to hear.

“Don’t really know,” the dark haired shinobi shrugged and scratched the back of his head, “they’ve been together for over a year and a half so a bit less than that I’d guess.”

“Or longer,” the kunoichi grinned, “taichou always plans ahead.”

“You really have a very high opinion of him, don’t you?” Shisui narrowed his eyes in mock annoyance; “He’s actually only human.”

“No,” she giggled, “I am certain he and little Sakura are divine beings – that’s why they make such a lovely couple because no one else would do for them.”

The younger Uchiha threw his head back and laughed at the comment – Fugaku narrowed his eyes considering the humorous observation, it was true he often heard people speak of his oldest son and the Haruno kunoichi as if they were larger than life, more than just mere humans, but he never considered them destined to be together because of it.

“True,” came the jovial retort, “they’re very good together.”

“You’ve known them for a long time,” the kunoichi nodded, “but they can’t have knows each other for as long.”

“Almost as long,” Shisui sobered up, “I started spending a lot of time with Kura-chan when she was seven and her brother, my old teammate, died – Itachi got to know her around that time too.”

“You know it’s rather weird, right?” Hana asked, “A pair of teenage boys spending time with a little girl that isn’t even related to them, and wasn’t she Itachi’s little brother’s teammate once – I heard she used to have a crush on Sasuke.”

Fugaku blinked and studied the pair closers – this was the first he’d heard of any crush Sakura might have had on his youngest son – both his sons had a posse of fan girls trailing after them, but he’d never pegged the Haruno kunoichi as one of them.

“Sure,” the younger Uchiha smiled, “for all of a week when she was eight – then he sneezed and set a pile of books on fire and she has never forgiven him.”

It was Hana’s turn to break out laughing, clutching her stomach she managed to let out a “That’s just so Haruno-like!” The Uchiha Clan Head couldn’t help to snort into his tea and agree – as a Genin he had an Haruno teammate that was just as book obsessed and could hold a grudge almost indefinitely – it definitely sounded like a very Haruno-like thing to do.

“So she fell for the faultless brother instead,” the Inuzuka kunoichi replied with a dreamily smile, “the one who got perfect control of his faculties and never does anything by accident.”

“There you go with your hero-worship again,” the shinobi countered, “Itachi’s just human, Sakura’s just human – they make mistakes too, but you have to be blind not to see that they belong together.”

The two ninja fell quiet after the outburst and just looked at each other a little surprised, nodded and began sipping their steadily cooling tea before it got too cold to drink.

Fugaku was more shell-shocked than surprised at his nephews last statement, but found himself agreeing ever so slightly – the few times he had seen Itachi and Sakura together they did seem to get along rather well and he couldn’t deny they were both very skilled ninja.

He paid for his tea and wagashi before exiting the tea shop – the afternoon breeze was fresh against his face. Maybe gossip wasn’t wholly bad after all – one son happily married and he hadn’t even been officially told yet, but no matter, now he just had to convince the Clan Council that it was really a blessing in disguise that the Uchiha Heir was married to an Haruno and not some distant cousin.

There was time left, however, to congratulate the happy couple before the old fogies of the Council ever heard about this. Maybe he should go back inside and ask his nephew where his son and daughter-in-law could have sneaked off to?


End file.
